Create a deep, emotional bond with him and keep him from wandering. Emotional intimacy is the main component of a relationship that keeps a man invested long-term. Most older women can’t compete with 25-year-olds and 30-somethings sauntering through their husbands’ work spaces in miniskirts and push-up bras.
Here are four ways to create a deep bond between you and your man, and keep him from ever wandering, temporarily or permanently.
1. Open up to him. Your man has to feel comfortable confiding in you. In a world where most men feel they have to act tough just to make it through the day at work or survive a night of beer and football with the guys, they really need a place where they can be vulnerable. As a woman, you should be the one who creates that vulnerability, inviting space for him. You should create a place for him to take off his “man mask” and just be himself. We all know that men are not like women in the way we talk at length about our problems and speak directly about our feelings, but they do need an outlet for their built-up stress and negative feelings. A woman who can create that outlet is essential to her man’s happiness and emotional health.
So how do you become a safe place for your man? You make him YOUR safe place first. This includes two steps: You risk vulnerability with him and share with him your feelings, secrets, fears. Basically, you reveal your underbelly to him. You allow him to comfort you in these moments like he is your hero.
2. Never fight dirty. Now that your man has opened up and shared parts of himself with you, guess what happens with a lot of women? They take these revelations and throw them back in their men’s faces in moments of heated argument.
“That’s why your boss thinks you’re weak!” “No wonder you are afraid of feeling like a failure!” “Maybe you are acting like that because your father was abusive, like you told me he was.” When we women see red, we want to win a fight and feel like our feelings are valid. But all your feelings are valid. Nothing he says or does is going to negate your feelings. You are entitled to them, and that’s all you need to know. If you want your man to hear your feelings, see your hurt, and understand your pain, speak to him like he is someone you hear, see, and understand. This will create emotional connection and will bring him emotionally close to you. He will realize that you are able to honor his person and his feelings, despite your own negative feelings. He will then start doing the same for you. That’s how healthy men work. They want nothing more than to hold your feelings, even when you are upset. They just don’t want to get burned for it.
Here are four ways to create a deep bond between you and your man, and keep him from ever wandering, temporarily or permanently.
1. Open up to him. Your man has to feel comfortable confiding in you. In a world where most men feel they have to act tough just to make it through the day at work or survive a night of beer and football with the guys, they really need a place where they can be vulnerable. As a woman, you should be the one who creates that vulnerability, inviting space for him. You should create a place for him to take off his “man mask” and just be himself. We all know that men are not like women in the way we talk at length about our problems and speak directly about our feelings, but they do need an outlet for their built-up stress and negative feelings. A woman who can create that outlet is essential to her man’s happiness and emotional health.
So how do you become a safe place for your man? You make him YOUR safe place first. This includes two steps: You risk vulnerability with him and share with him your feelings, secrets, fears. Basically, you reveal your underbelly to him. You allow him to comfort you in these moments like he is your hero.
2. Never fight dirty. Now that your man has opened up and shared parts of himself with you, guess what happens with a lot of women? They take these revelations and throw them back in their men’s faces in moments of heated argument.
“That’s why your boss thinks you’re weak!” “No wonder you are afraid of feeling like a failure!” “Maybe you are acting like that because your father was abusive, like you told me he was.” When we women see red, we want to win a fight and feel like our feelings are valid. But all your feelings are valid. Nothing he says or does is going to negate your feelings. You are entitled to them, and that’s all you need to know. If you want your man to hear your feelings, see your hurt, and understand your pain, speak to him like he is someone you hear, see, and understand. This will create emotional connection and will bring him emotionally close to you. He will realize that you are able to honor his person and his feelings, despite your own negative feelings. He will then start doing the same for you. That’s how healthy men work. They want nothing more than to hold your feelings, even when you are upset. They just don’t want to get burned for it.
3. Show him you adore him. Some women are naturally open with their physical affection. They touch and caress their man (or everyone they know) lovingly, tenderly, warmly. These women are goddesses.
4. Remember to be playful. Being genuinely playful requires you to feel happy in your life; therefore, you need to start having a positive, loving relationship with yourself. You should dote on yourself. Take any opportunity to laugh, to have fun, and to relax.
EmoticonEmoticon